Finding Your Voice

Lost in Translation?

Remember the first time you studied something new? A college course, adult ed, grad school, a workshop?

At first, it was confusing – new terms, phrases, processes – you didn’t understand a thing. You had questions, but you didn’t even have the language to articulate them.

Total frustration.

No words…

Have you ever had something to say but didn’t know how to say it?

Or worse yet, when you did speak, someone said, “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” with such emphasis and authority that you walked away confused – maybe even angry – scratching your head and thinking, “Well, maybe they’re right.”

You’re not alone.

Many people have had this experience. Take Susan, for example.

Susan said she’d learned not to enter into “discussions” led from the bully pulpit of her childhood kitchen table, unless she could provide quotes and footnotes to back up her statements.

Nobody accepted her opinions unless she had substantial facts to back them up. She learned to listen to others’ opinions about her until, ultimately, she accepted them as facts.

The final straw came when her beloved told her: “You have no taste in art.” She believed it.

The irony? His “fact” was merely his own “opinion.” As it turned out, he liked Turner; she liked Monet.

The real fact:  Susan had no voice to speak her truth. 

It took years before she realized three very important things:

1. She did have a voice that she could use.
2. She did know what she was talking about.
3.  She had opinions that were as valid as anyone else’s.

How did Susan get there?

It took time, support, and practice. 

First, she began writing in a journal.  Having discovered that the pressure of debate was unappealing, journaling became a way to script what she knew were her truths.

Next, she found individuals whom she could trust to listen to her with acceptance that what she was saying was true for her. They provided validation and acknowledgment that she was smart and thoughtful, with valuable insights and opinions.

Finally, she “took the show on the road,” speaking – often slowly, often quietly – to new faces, always watching for their reactions or negative responses.  Most often, she noticed only heads nodding in affirmation.

Beyond her wildest dreams

The outcome of all this was so much more than she had ever expected. Susan recognized her own intellect – and owned it with pride – but not pridefully.

As Susan began believing in herself, her confidence soared – and so did her self-esteem. 

Have you lost your voice?

Life is – and always has been – a journey.

It’s about the lessons we get along the way and what we do with them.

In my office you’ll have compassionate, listening ears – ears who accept your truth and acknowledge your experiences. 

With my support, you’ll learn how to speak your truth and how to find others who will listen. Practice on me and them until you don’t need to practice anymore.

Then, you’ll have found your voice.

Reach out today by calling (862) 432-6880 to begin finding your voice, your one true voice.