How Can You Tell If You Need a Counselor?

That’s a good, but complicated, question.

Friends and acquaintances may recommend counseling because, as unbiased observers, they may witness the pain and struggle you’re going through.

Events may be a catalyst to seek counseling: death, separation/divorce, job loss, and relocation may all trigger emotions that feel unmanageable. After one of these events, you might seek help from a professional therapist.

Sometimes, outside professionals may make a recommendation, such as a school counselor, minister, lawyer, judge, or doctor. Recommendations from those individuals carry some weight, as they bring theoretical knowledge and professional expertise with them.

At the end of the day, unless a professional counselor has recommended that you seek help from a professional counselor, the best person to answer that first question is most likely the one asking it – YOU.

Trust your gut.

Others will have their opinions, sometimes quite valid, but if you’re truly honest with yourself, you know whether you need to see a counselor.

Look at your life for a place to start.

Start your own personal inventory. Notice what’s missing in your life. Become aware of that empty space, the holes that just can’t be filled in no matter how hard you try or how busy you are.

Listen to that voice telling you there must be something more than this.

With every trip or journey, there is a destination. This is the starting place; deciding where you want to go, even if you don’t know how to get there.

Relationships as a mirror…

Begin to look at both the quantity and quality of your relationships. No matter how many friends you have on social media, that can’t begin to match the value of special, personal relationships. Quality beats quantity in relationships any day.

The best relationships are with equal partners, not victims and rescuers. Family, and not just among your parents and siblings, but those who you choose to call family, can be so very important.

Everyone needs a supportive “tribe” that shares your values and honors you and your dreams. Everyone wants a tribe that will celebrate your successes as well as promote and support your growth.

Relationships don’t end with family and friends.

Relationships at work are so very important. Colleagues help you set goals and support your achievements. Work is the place where you will spend more hours every day for most of your adult life. Make sure you enjoy where you work, the work you do, and those with whom you work.

Don’t sacrifice connection for achievement.

Maybe it’s your relationship with yourself.

Many of us run our lives by our own “steam.” Some people seem to be really, really good at doing that. But, every engine needs to be refueled. Learn where you get refueled and recharged. Learn what totally drains your tanks.

Working with a therapist can help you figure that out. You can discover what makes you angry so often and why “happy doesn’t last.”

In therapy, you can explore your relationship with yourself and learn what makes your heart sing with joy.

Perhaps you want to be with others, but you find it difficult to be yourself around them, so you push them away.

Change your reflection…

Your “outside” life reflects your “inside” life.

Your day-to-day life reflects what you think about yourself; what you believe you deserve, or not; what you believe you can do, or not.

It reflects all the messages you received from birth right up to now, that you have accepted as truth, whether they are,or not.

I truly don’t know whether you need counseling. In reality, only you can know that.

What I do emphatically know is that mental health, good mental health, is not a luxury or a privilege reserved for those with money or good insurance.

We all deserve to feel good, about ourselves, our future, and the world. Everyone deserves to have a set of tools and skills to manage all the uncertainties of life. EVERYONE!

You deserve to feel good!

I don’t know if you need to go to counseling, but you do.

If in doubt, check it out. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to ask for help.

Let’s face it – we can all use a little help now and then.

Reach out today by calling (862) 432-6880 to start the journey toward feeling your best – being your best.